Hello my children,
The second principle is "The Confirmation Principle."
Holland argues that it is important to submit your dating relationship to the God-ordained authorities in your life as well as the providentially placed people in your lives, like friends.
If you look at the relationship that Samson wanted to have with the Philistine woman in Judges 14:1-5, you see that not only was his interest in her based purely on physical attraction, but he also broke principle 1 in that he did not care about her character or even her religious beliefs. Even further, he didn't care about the input of his parents. He rejected their advice and "one thing led to another" and his wife betrayed him, 30 men died, multiple crops were destroyed by fire, and his wife and father-in-law were burned to death (Judges 15).
There is a God-ordained and designed level of care, instruction, and protection that God has woven into your lives. The first thread is your parents. Before you are an adult they are in authority over you and have responsibility to guide, teach, and protect you. But even once you are an adult they are to be honored and recognized as a valuable resource and can still serve as guides, teachers, and protection if you will let them.
It is good to have your parents involved from the beginnings of a relationship (or even before one starts). It would be good to involve them in considering who to pursue for a relationship and how.
Regardless of how exactly this works out, it should be the heart of a child to get their parent's thoughts, listen to their concerns, and honor their admonitions.
Parents are given for many good reasons that should be considered:
Exodus 20:12 12 ¶ "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the LORD your God gives you.
Leviticus 19:3 3 'Every one of you shall reverence his mother and his father
Ephesians 6:1-3 Ephesians 6:1 ¶ Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), 3 that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.
Proverbs 6:20-23 My son, observe the commandment of your father, And do not forsake the teaching of your mother; 21 Bind them continually on your heart; Tie them around your neck. 22 When you walk about, they will guide you; When you sleep, they will watch over you; And when you awake, they will talk to you. 23 For the commandment is a lamp, and the teaching is light; And reproofs for discipline are the way of life.
Proverbs 10:1 A wise son makes a father glad, But a foolish son is a grief to his mother.
If God gave you parents He expects them to have very important input into this vital decision. It is true that not all parents are wise in these matters, but as in everything, check their advice and wisdom against God's word.
Grace and peace,