Monday, June 13, 2011

Principles for Dating: #1

I am in the process of writing letters to my children about things they should think about regarding dating. I am posting them here in case they can benefit others.

Hi loveys,

This is the second installment of the dating series. We are going over Rick Holland's ten principles from the book _5 Paths to the Love of Your Life_.

The first principle is: The Character Principle.

The basic idea is that it is more important to _be_ the right person than to _find_ the right person. In other words, you should really concentrate on being conformed to the image of Christ. If you are seeking Christ you will desire a person who also seeks the Lord and wants to do His will.

Titus 2:2-8 gives a good list of character qualities for us to measure ourselves against.

sober-minded
dignified
self-controlled
sound in faith, love & steadfastness
reverent in behavior
not slanderers
not slaves to wine
teaching what is good
loving
pure
hard worker
submissive to authorities
a model of good works
having integrity
sound in speech
people have noting evil to say about you.

Other passages add other qualities:
humility (Phil 2:3-11)
holiness (1 Pet 1:14-16)
godly love (1 Cor 13:4-8)
selflessness (James 3:14)
the fruit of the Spirit (Gal 5:22-25)
Christlikeness (Eph 4:13)

It would be good to go through this list and see what areas you need to grow in. It is most important that you look upon your heart, because that is where God looks (1 Sam 16:7).

Titus 2 and 2 Timothy 2 indicate that it is helpful to have a mentoring relationship where someone encourages you and holds you accountable in these areas. Perhaps it would be good for you to ask your discipler to go through the list and talk about these things with you.

Finally, in addition to being the right kind of a person, in trying to find the right kind of person, these are the characteristics you should look for in others as well.

King Lemuel said it well: "Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." (Prov 31:30)

Again, let me know what you think. If you have questions or want to discuss something, feel free to respond to this message or send me a private one.

I love you all,

Dad

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