Thursday, January 21, 2010

Looking For Tangible Expressions of Love

I was just studying Romans 12:9 where it speaks about letting love be without hypocrisy or in other words "genuine." As I apply it to marriage I was wondering whether anyone out there could share some examples of how husbands and wives could tangibly demonstrate to their spouse that their love is genuine. Any thoughts?


pastorprof said...

Here are some of the comments I received:

"speak their 'language' when NO one's looking. Genuine love speaks when not spoken to."

"They enjoy doing things together; yard work, cooking, cleaning, grocery and consider it a fun time."

pastorprof said...

"making a latte! giving the other the best, the biggest, the truest...praying together and confessing husband is showing me many...our love for each other is only as genuine as is our love for Christ"

"empathy, laughing together, appreciation for the other's giftedness in the Lord."

"Being there and taking care of your beloved when there is an illness."

"Do chores that are usually done by one person as a service to that person. Like change the baby's diaper."

pastorprof said...

"I agree with Doris. When I had my hysterectomy (sp), there were things I could not do for myself and my husband did not wince at helping me. Doing the little things for each other, being there for each other, knowing that you can depend on them. So many more things to say, so little space."

"being supportive to the husband (for the wife) with his ideas, leadership, etc. and really listening to your wife (for the husband)... really listening to what she says. ie... if she jabbers on about something she needs done, maybe do it for her. Genuine love means you WANT to do good to the other person. Make them smile, be their cheerleader."

"talk to each other in bed at night in the dark after everybody else has gone to sleep and really listen to each other and not fall asleep!!"

"the "being there"" is an attitude and also a time of asking others to come and help when you can't cover all of the bases yourself."

"Ask your spouse how you are doing as the other half of a blessed oneness; ask if your spouse has anything that you are not aware of that they would like to have prayer for - then pray with them. Study God's Word together and be amazed at how God will grow you together, with Him and your spouse. And finally ... let them be in charge of the remote control."

"Love (Think I heard this from Paul Tripp): Willing self sacrifice for the good of the other that doesn't demand reciprocation or that the object of the love be worthy of it."

"Love: Ultimately defined at the cross."

"Keep a right view of God as He is in the perfection of His attributes. Keep Jesus' example and pattern of love fresh in my thinking. Keep a right view of myself. Keep a right view of what happened at the cross. See myself as I am a sinner saved by a great and merciful grace. Then as one who has been loved and who is loved with such a great love, to love in that same manner...."

"Be quick to seek forgiveness and quick to forgive. Die to self in a conflict as soon as possible and seek the good of the spouse (even if the other spouse may be in the wrong, even if it hurts). Sacrifice one's rights for the good of the other. Don't be defensive in a conflict. Listen for the good of the other. Speak the truth in love for the good and for the building up of one's spouse even when it would be easier not to."

"Do the dishes. :)"

"By being faithful to their covenantal responsibilities and duties even when the other is not."

"Well Brian- I learned a valuable lesson one Sunday a few years ago from Pastor Joseph Moore that really hit home for me. The best way a husband can tangibly express how he loves his wife is to live for her. Do the little things that matter to her with a joyful spirit. A few examples- fold the laundry, take out the trash, help clean the house, ..."

"take the kids off of her hands- without being asked and without grumbling about it. Last (this one is mine), really listen to her without solving her problems (I'm still working on that one)."

"Taking care of a sick wife and a sick son and NEVER AND I MEAN NEVER complaining!!!!! I sure know my hubby loves me by his actions and attitude in the hard times. :)"

pastorprof said...

"It started as a sacrifice of my desires to please her. Since, I have found that God has a way of giving to me more than I ever sacrifice. Setting my desires aside has become so much easier. What an amazing lesson!"

"my husband gives me sundays off from the cooking or cleaning. is that tangible enough?Truly a day of rest for me."

"The longer I'm with my wife the less I try to give an answer to her to daily trails...a big hug speaks as loud as words sometimes. When my wife gives me a big hug, and tells me she appreciates me sure feels good."

"Speaking gracious words, using a loving tone of voice, an unexpected, even undeserved act of kindness, making sacrifices if necessary to spend time together --these are the things you do that I love! I'm so grateful for you!"

A and A said...

1. Send her/him a note that expresses your love and appreciation for her/him in 2-3 sentences.

2. Adore and surprise her/him with appropriate gifts (not kitchen appliances or nose hair trimmers)and not after a fight, birthday, or anniversary. Flowers and chocolate are my wife's weaknesses!

3. Provide your husband with a meal before an elders meeting...maybe some homemade comfort-food like chicken soup and awesome cornbread for example? (BTW- Your wife is an example of this - she tangibly expressed her love to us last night in that way!)

Hope that helps! Praying for you tonight and tomorrow's marriage conference at Mid-Town!