Despite the fact that Samson's three recorded "love" relationships leave very little to be desired regarding an example to emulate, his third fling actually gives amazing insight into the key to genuine love. We have a cycle of Delilah asking Samson how he can be bound; he lies; she tries; he breaks loose. Then Delilah makes this statement: "How can you say, 'I love you,' when your heart is not with me?"
She sees an inconsistency between his saying, "I love you," and his lying. She diagnoses the problem with his inconsistency as related to the heart. It reminds me of Henry Krabbendam who I once heard say in his deep golden voice, "The heart of the problem is the problem of the heart."
Now never mind that the same thing could be said of Delilah, after all she is trying to betray him, but she really does get to the heart of the problem. If you look at the references to the heart in the OT you get the idea that the heart is a way of referring to your mission control center--the place in the core of your immaterial man that includes all of your thinking, willing, & feeling; and action comes from how you think, will, and feel. So we learn from Delilah that the kind of love that we want is one that will start in the heart. She wants Samson to think, will, and feel, about her in such a way that his actions are consistent with his profession of love towards her. Isn't that the kind of love we want to have? Isn't that the kind of love we want to give?
That is the kind of love God has toward us and the kind of love He calls us to and empowers believers to demonstrate in Christ by His Spirit.